Of the upcoming poetry book
Eyes wide open
PRESSURE
Solemnity traps my lonely night,
Drenched in shadows of urban decay,
Hearts willing to listen,
Mouths too scared to say,
Tongues move fast on fire,
So they burn away the lights,
While hypothermic hearts,
Just freeze their tears before they cry,
Climbing to a sinking past,
We wish to rise but never last,
No singing for those moving fast,
Though we were meant to try,
Shadows forming stormy seas,
Where lights can be deceiving,
An oasis floating in the night,
We wish for what we’re dreaming,
But knuckles only touch the time,
Of those already bleeding,
So if I find the time for healing,
Maybe I’ll start feeling fine.
MOTHER NATURE
Seeds sprout into flowers after winter’s time to rain,
Children grow from lessons after lessons bring them pain,
Feet run fast from home so they might find some better soil,
Just to find that roots grow with, but never leave where they were born,
Impatient, growing higher,
There’s a tree that snapped its twigs,
Small branches, frail and fragile,
Even raindrops felt like bricks,
Angry at the clouds, for she forgot they’re how she lived,
She kept screaming at the seasons and the trouble that they give,
Caught up in a fire, she burned right down to the ground,
Screaming at the rays of sun, for they had caused the drought,
With her body turned to dust,
She heard the echoes of her scream,
The little sparks of hatred,
The lightning that they bring,
Being on the brink of death,
Darkness made her see,
It wasn’t seasons that were killing her,
It was unwillingness to be,
Seeds sprout into flowers after winter’s time to rain,
Leaves were glad to go after summer’s joy sunk in,
There are no faults or flaws in the seasons’ great design,
It’s love and opportunity and growth that starts within.
Notice the silence,
To experience sounds,
Feel the emptiness,
To know what’s around,
Could you stomach it all,
If you knew the truth,
Nothing really matters,
And the same goes for you.
From fire’s heart do riches grow,
On destruction’s inhale seeds will float,
Like leaves fall down in red and brown,
And the rise and fall of a breathing sea,
Like cold winds holding up to march,
Blowing blossoms off the trees,
We may not understand the endless ways,
But just like them, we are born to change.
GARDENING TOOLS
We’re constantly planting seeds,
But which ones do we feed?
Which ones do we grow into trees,
Which ones do we let root knees deep into our being,
Which ones happen organically?
Do we garden here too?
Or just outside?
Does it matter when the weeds take up time?
Can they take up time if we ignore them?
Will they stop growing?
Can we look over them?
Knowing?
I mean, life is whatever you mould it in,
Can I just mould it without moulding,
Without my hands getting dirty,
Can it be all sunflowers and roses?
No worms, no weeds, no gross things,
And are they really gross?
Do I really have control?
Or do I just not want to know,
That I am as much the dirt as I am the rose,
And that there is not really a point,
Just seeds growing.
JEALOUSY
Such a child,
The way he’s happy,
How dare he run around carelessly,
So irresponsibly,
Say whatever he wants while we,
We have to work,
We have to,
We have
Responsibilities,
We have to run around working so we,
Can work more,
How is it that that is not me,
Why do I have to be who I don’t want to be,
While he can run around happily,
It’s all his fault,
He’s showing a road that I cannot walk,
It’s not my fault,
I can’t have to be who I don’t want to be and then also hate me,
Who do I even hate?
Is it too late?
Can I run?
When I look at where I'm going,
Can you see that I'm surprised,
Is it obvious that where I've been,
Is still there in my eyes,
Filled with phantom moments,
Can you see the lonely I,
Should close the windows,
Close the doorways,
To my soul.
I don’t claim to know better,
But I do claim to know,
And I know there is nothing I know yet,
But all that I can know now,
It is limited,
But by knowing where the limit is,
I know where to add onto,
It is not a fool who admits to not knowing,
It is a fool who passes an opportunity for growing,
Clarity grows where arrogance goes,
Will you claim to know better,
Or start wanting to know?
PASSION
Unmethodical fiddling with my finger,
My hands are shaking as I'm pulling the trigger,
Darkness unfolds and for a moment I stall,
Would it be better not to fall,
Not to feel anything at all,
It got me this far, who says I can't go on,
Can fool myself by walking around with my eyes closed,
In the end what creates the darkness doesn't matter,
I can take the less scary road and still end up as satisfied,
Right?
I stare myself in the eyes and recognize that fright,
It is that baby who came into the world crying,
Vulnerable to the treatment of those lying to themselves too,
Completely free falling, exposed and bare to,
Those who said they loved me, then wished for me to die,
Who would yell and would scream and would blame my goodbye,
Who would cheat on themselves and then cheat on me too,
So that is what I learned free falling will do,
But I know there's no living this way,
Blaming others for stubbing my toe when I chose not to see,
To never risk a thing,
Never dare to dream,
Grasping for things out of reach until they feel too real,
So I plummet,
Risk it all to be free,
Shaking, bare and vulnerable,
Not knowing what the darkness will bring.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Thank you for reading this small sample of my laughably large stack of poetry that only and truly needs to be sorted before it can be published and available for reading in its completion.
I wrote these poems between ages 16 and 23 (roughly from 2014-2021). They are very pure reflections of what I was focused on within my internal world or what I was noticing around me during these very formative years of my life.
My hope is that my poetry may function as a seed for the eventual sprouting of conscious thought, or perhaps as a way of training this muscle.
Words are very powerful indeed. When handled purely and foolishly, they can create for you a beautifully magical life.
© 2026 Carmen Elisabeth Heringa
All rights reserved. None of these poems may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means outside the website aneyemo.nl without written permission from the publisher.